Where did it all begin?

The need to be kind started right back when I was at Infant School. It was a realisation that not everyone you meet is kind. In actual fact, having dropped my child off for the first time this week it is a huge worry for me that he may face the same harsh reality of this!

School was a particularly difficult time for me. I have accepted throughout life that everyone has different influences throughout their lives, exposure to different scenarios and experiences that could change their perceptions of how to deal with situations. This makes it easier to accept that what happened to me at school, was no fault of the children. It was learned behaviour. It is of paramount importance and to change lives that children are taught so very early on that Kindness is a key principle of life! That kindness paves the way for their futures. I am pleased that In the early years this is a key behaviour I have instilled in my children. It doesn't always pay to be academic, but it pays to be kind!


I have PTSD and whilst most of this is directed at my experience in the Police, it was established that throughout some of the therapy that I have had that some of my ways of dealing with the world, comes down to my school life.


I refer to a session of EMDR this year 2020 (theraphy for those who suffer with PTSD) where I was asked to recall early memories. I recall standing at a window looking into the playground and watching the children play. I was about 8 years old. It was a double door window with a long pane of glass, and I could see my reflection slightly. I looked at myself and thought "Why doesn't anyone like me, why do they not want to play with me?" I have no idea to this day why children didn't want to play with me. I do believe and accept there was alot of outside influence that caused this though.


Prior to EMDR I couldn't even talk about this without the need to break down and cry about it. Now I am different, I can talk because the one thing that the counsellor asked me to do has changed my mindset. The session gave me strength, empowerment and resilience to deal with situations out of my control. You'll find out more about this as we go on......




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